A Dormant State

Despite the many things I have to write about, I can never seem to actually do it lately. Things are progressing and if they change as much as I think they will then I'm gonna need a log...

UPDATE

I've been absent for good reason. I've been knee-deep in answers to all of my many questions that I've begrudgingly dragged behind me for all these years. But don't worry, I've almost pieced together enough to profess one epiphany at a time and how they're all linked together. Right now I'll give you one word: starseeds.

A Formal Introduction

Formal Initiation

I've known my friend Lisa for nearly 6 years with a few years of absence in between. Somehow in December I found myself in her direction and from then on I'd make a 50 mile drive to her house every other day. Lisa is a lifelong practitioner in the art of Yoruba, or Voodoo as it is known in America. After a few lengthy visits and returning a book she lent me 5 years before, strange things began to happen all around me and it became too eerie to ignore. After hiding from the twilight for nearly 5 years the rabbit hole started calling me back.

An event took place when I was 14 years old that had me digging for answers anywhere I could find them. At the time the internet wasn't the first place anyone would run for information, so I hit the bookstores and stumbled upon wicca. When I realized that I'd be trading 10 laws for 13 I threw it out and kept searching, eventually finding my way into pure untampered witchcraft, then the paranormal and eventually the occult in depth.

Either way, the trials of life and feeling alone when surrounded by people drained my will in every aspect, especially the search for the ultimate truth. At 17 I walked away. I still saw the strange and unusual at every turn, but I couldn't find the will to give a damn and continued drudging forward. After reuniting with Lisa there were signs ever in the form of eerie coincidences, dreams realized, deja vu and even a fated car wreck housing multiple signs of the Orisha (the 7 Voodoo deities). I should have been thrown from the car and I didn't even lift off of the seat. My unbreakable sense of denial was broken by a near death experience. I would have been crazy not to take notice. The rabbit hole was calling me back and this time to a path where the spirit world directly converges with the physical world - Voodoo.

After several more nights spent sharing insights with Lisa I get the phone call. Lisa and her husband, Chris, received meditative word that I am to work under the Orisha. The one who most demanded was Oggun, mostly because he is my patron or "father". Two supernaturally chaotic weeks later, on February 8th, I was formally inducted into the Secret Society of Nyameh Dua.

I'll be writing more about the Orisha and how they operate but for now I'll close with a photo of my initiation gift: This altar mat handmade by Lisa herself featuring the colors of Oggun (my primary) and Shango (my secondary).

Tornado Wreckage

In January 2012, twenty four tornadoes touched down in Alabama in a single night. Dozens were killed and hundreds of houses were completely leveled. Today I went to tour (by tour I mean break into) a foreclosed house and upon entering the area I found that there was no longer an area.

Breaking and Entering

At the time I was looking into financing a foreclosed home and after playing phone tag with a realtor for 3 days he told me to go on in solo. Trespassing? Yes, please!

Mind Surpassing Body?

As an organic living being I'm prone to constant change as we all are. My point? Sometimes I break out. It's about 10% hormones and 90% stress. Seriously, I've been told by both my doctor and a dermatologist. Either way, It's always been manageable. Almost always.

In October, I was falsely arrested and spent 18 days in jail, costing me both my job and my livelihood. Worse, they had me sign a paper saying I wouldn't sue for false arrest before they set me free. They threw me in the hole for the first 3 days to "evaluate me" because of my stress disease. Mind you, I went so long without being seen that they forgot to feed me so I doubt they did much evaluating. Way to go, judicial system. Anyway, that's only the beginning and the point is I signed it.

About a week later my long stint of clear skin came to an abrupt end. Strange bumps appeared in places I've never broken out before and they hurt like hell. At this point I shook it off and waited for it to heal. It not only got worse, but by the beginning of November these marks formed on my right foot in the gap by my big toe and started to travel all the way up my leg.

I spent the next few days thinking I got into something I was allergic to until these marks became holes as deep as they were wide and rather than healing with time they got deeper. Then the light came on: Wait...I just got out of jail. This could be anything! I rushed to my doctor at her soonest availability (3 or 4 days later) and am presented with a startling revelation.

DR. DANICKA: I'm not saying this to give you any bad ideas and I commend you for your will, but your body is trying to kill yourself because you won't. Your mental threshold for stress has surpassed your physical threshold, and now your body is opting out by eating itself. No. More. Stress.

I developed an isolated case of stress-induced shingles, which means my flesh was dying everywhere and fast. The worst part was the only cure was me finding a new way to survive this world and how I felt about it. I thought it was impossible. I thought I was doomed. Finally, after a costly ritual, I had a revelation that sounds much easier said than done: just let go....